What does your child think of you?
From what I can remember, I don’t recall ever hating my mum or being so mad at her that I just didn’t want to talk to her. Probably because I miss her that much that the only memories I have are happy and lovely – nothing short of a blessing. However, it’s becoming apparent that Peanut is forging her own opinion of her mother and it aint good! I’m pretty sure that it’s a case of paranoia that stems from some private struggles that I had post-birth but when the bottom lip comes out and Daddy is the best person on the planet you cant help but feel like you’re at the top of your toddlers ‘I’m so going to poo on you when I get the chance’ list. Caitlin is a very complex and lovely little creature; her personality is really starting to come out and in recent weeks we’ve been given an insight into what kind of little girl she’s going to be.
So interspersed between the conversations of yogurt and weetabix whilst sat in a highchair throwing raisins and bits of apple around, and the struggle for freedom in the middle of a big, bad and very messy nappy change, Peanut has shown me that her affections can change in the blink of an eye. For example, yesterday while waving Daddy of to work with porridge in her hair she blew kisses and dished out the hugs like they were chocolate buttons. As soon as he walked out the door though, ‘Caitlin, can mummy have a cuddle?’ her response was a very stern and lingering ‘noooo waaaaaay’. Ever seen that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha is convinced her boyfriends housekeeper hates her, and when his back is turned the housekeeper switches from friendly helper to evil monster? Well, not that I’m comparing my toddler to a 40-something year old hussy, but the mood resemblance is uncanny! Around her Daddy Peanut is a charming and wonderful little girl that loves everyone – even me, but as soon as he’s out of the door her interest in any kind of parental affection is long gone.
This makes for really interesting games such as don’t touch the TV, it’s expensive you little monkey, let Mummy wash your hands… oh ok, wipe them on the sofa because that’s expensive too, and Peanuts favourite; throw stuff on the floor and eyeball that woman who feeds you. Anyone would think I don’t like her but actually, it’s this cheeky demeanour that’s going to make her such an interesting little miss as she’s growing up. I love how her spirit is free and I want her to grow up knowing that whatever she wants to do, she can; obviously within reason. I want to encourage her creative side and nurture this curiosity and need to push things to the limit – but not her mum, I’m absolutely not there for pushing.
She’s the apple of her Daddy’s eye and that’s a relationship that I want her to treasure because at her age I didn’t have that. Although he reminds me that while it might seem like he’s her favourite at the moment, once she’s hit 15 and turning into a woman she’ll hate him and I’ll be her best friend. Ha! Yeah right, she’ll hate me more. If I’m bad cop now then I’m going to be colossal evil chief once she’s a teen. But for now, as long as I’m waking her up with a tickle and a kiss on her head, bringing her bottle and a big cuddle before bed while we listen to silly songs on the TV, and picking her up when she’s hurt herself and crying ‘Mimmy’, I know I’m buying myself some more time before I actually do get crapped on for my sins.