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The Truth about Man flu fabulous

Wednesday, 4 December 2013  |  Admin

{Diary of a stay at home dad} WeekTwenty Six

So, I have been ill all week with theMAN FLU and incase some of you believe it is just like normal flu accept muchworse because a man has it, you may be highly mistaken. Let me tell you thetruth about MAN FLU. it is much worse than just a cold. It doesn't just go awaywith a nice hot lemsip. It can strike down any man any time without warning, itdidn't kill me, but it left me feeling sick, weak as if I had jumped in thering with Mike Tyson for ten rounds. Let me give you a brief overview of howthis horrible illness affected me this past week.


Day One: I was telling the wife Idon't feel too great I think I might have a cold, what I was expecting her tosay was ‘'sit down darling can I get you anything'' instead her response was‘'tissues in the toilet and lemsips in the cupboard''


Day Three: I was starting to losecontrol of my bodily functions and finding everyday tasks extremely difficult,(I still managed to complete the school runs on time) at this point my nose waslike rudolph the red nose reindeer, what I was expecting from the wife - agentle rub on the back saying the words it's OK Rob do you want me to run anice hot bath for you. Instead, her response was ''you have got man flu getover it''


Day Five: I was starting to feel alittle better so I decided to venture out the house and go to my local shoppingcentre. Poppy was being fantastic I could not believe my eyes, she never oncegot out the pram as I stopped to talk to people about how bad my man flu hasbeen. We even walked past toy shops and she didn't say a word. So I decided totreat her to a nice lunch.


We were both sitting there with happyfaces completely unaware of what was coming next. We left the cafe and neededto get to the second floor so I called for the lift. There were some otherpeople behind me so I let them in first (a decision I would later regret) whenwe were all in, the doors shut and then I heard a noise that could only bespelt like BuUuRRRR!!   


everyone immediately stopped talkingand their eyes started to scan the lift to see who the culprit was, it wasn'tme and it certainly wasn't Poppy (as she would have stated already) it wascompletely silent until Poppy said ‘'EERR WHO POPPED OFF DAD?'' we were trappedand what was only a twenty second journey felt like a lifetime had passed inthose few moments I will never forget.

Once I got home Sarah had taken alittle pity on me and said I could go and have a little sleep, while she wouldattend to the girls and sort dinner out. Which was nice having earlier denied myrequest for a sympathy bell.


So my 30th birthday is just a littleover a week away I'm still a little anxious I mean it's not like I'm going toinstantly change who I am or my face is going to fill up with wrinklesovernight, but if I'm honest I think I have been thinking about it for the lastcouple of years, a sort of finish line and you have to get all the importantand silly youthful things done in life before you cross it.


Like reading the most important booksin history - I even tried to attempt war and peace by tolstoy, but it's alittle more than a door stop now. To have your career path mapped out in frontof you - well I've always been a very sporadic kind of guy and I don't thinkthat one is for me. I like to live with a certain feeling of not knowing what'saround each and every corner.


To have all your children - well I'vedefinitely had all mine it seems the world is just made for two adults twochildren, perfect for a car and it qualifies you for all the holiday deals andfamily ticket prices. I couldn't face the possibility of having another girl inthe house and being outnumbered four to one, so two children is perfect for me.(please feel free to share your personal experiences in the comments below)


One thing I am going to prioritize againis a few visits to the gym as I'm still carrying a little Christmas weight fromlast year.


Until next week...