Just be the best parent you can

{Diary of a stay at home dad} Week Thirty Six

Over the last week it has been a mixture of emotions really. Poppy was due to have her injections at the doctors. I was never there for Ruby’s as I was working, but it was just me and pops this time round. I felt a little nervous for her the night before knowing what they were going to do to her and that she didn’t have any idea. So i decided I would tell her exactly what was going to happen I even showed her a syringe and gently pinched her arm to get her ready for what was to come, but ultimately stating that ‘’it will hurt a little, but don’t worry as we can have a strawberry milkshake after and you love those’’ Poppy smiled at this and seemed happy enough to march with me to the doctors. As I was sitting with her I got sweaty palms and was surprised at how concerned I was getting over a little injection and then I started thinking, it was probably due to my own experience when I was a child. I can remember it remarkably well I was leaning over my mothers lap with my trouser down exposing my lovely little peach of a bum when something that felt like a screwdriver went straight through my bum cheek almost hitting the bone!! (its funny how we all over exaggerate things in our memories wouldn't you agree?) They do say you hold onto memories of traumatic experiences in childhood so it may not be that far from the truth after all. The nurse called Poppy’s name and off we went greeted with a lovely smile Poppy sat on my lap and was told to look at a sticker on the wall as her attention was diverted briefly both nurses hit my little pops with an injection in both arms at the same time. I winced and waited for the expected tears, but they never came Poppy jumped of my lap turned round and thanked both the nurses for her injections and politely asked for a sticker. both nurses looked pretty shocked and stated that they have never been thanked before, they gave pops a bravery award and a sticker. Off we went to enjoy a nice strawberry milkshake. with pops parading her new award to everyone insight

. If I’m honest I have found things very difficult lately and I am struggling a little, one evening when I was trying to sort out dinner both girls were misbehaving and just would not settle (running around streaming) I was very cross and shouted at them both. When I shouted they both had fists clenched to their chests and quivering lips. I felt terrible as I know these are the kind of things children hold onto. Don’t get me wrong disciplining a child is very important as you need to have boundaries, but I think I got angry because I could not control their behaviour and what I should of done was put dinner aside for a moment and play with my girls and give them both my full attention. lets face it a late dinner wouldn't have hurt them just altered my evening plans thats all. I do not want to be a dad who my girls are scared of or avoid I want them to know I love them dearly and would do anything humanly possible to make sure they are ok. I want them to come to me with anything big or small silly or serious. I want them to know they are special and can do anything they set their little hearts to. I spent the rest of that night in a very sombre mood and went to the man cave to gather my thoughts. I went into their room later that night and kissed them on the head said my apologies and then went to bed determined to wake up a better dad. One thing I have learned being a parent is that there is always room for improvement. you can always give your children more time always show more patients and so on One thing is for certain you should never let the sun set without letting your child know you love them and tell them too.

I know you feel it, but they cannot read our minds and dads never be afraid to say these words even if you're the macho type it makes you more of a man to say these words to your child. Hope you all have a fantastic week and can I just say thank you for the support you showed my wife it means a lot and we are both very thankfull Until next week……….

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