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Daddy being the breadwinner is outdated

Tuesday, 28 January 2014  |  Admin

{Thoughts On Friday}

I recently read an article about what a real man's role should be in the family, the viewpoint was, he should work and be the provider for his family whatever the circumstances and that the mother should remain at home with the children.
let's look at the word provider: also known as the breadwinner, wears the trousers, brings home the bacon, the protector ... you get where I'm going

This in my opinion is outdated, insensitive and a narrow viewpoint to have without knowing individual family circumstances

most people see this as providing just financially. I'm not saying it's not important, but it is not in my opinion the only thing that matters. Is it not a man's role in a relationship or marriage to look out for his family's emotional, spiritual and mental well-being, because if that is not strong you risk the whole relationship breaking down.

My personally situation: my wife was struggling at home after being a housewife for six years, while doing a fantastic job in the process it took its toll mentally and emotionally on her. Does that make her a failure as a mother? No it shows great strength and character, somebody who knows their own limits, and when there is need for change.

It took so much courage for my wife to speak out and say how she was really feeling and that things could not continue as they were. I fear what might of been the case if our own situation didn't change and remained the same.

It was a hard decision to make for me for selfish reasons, we wouldn't have as much money (which we didn't have a lot of anyway) my history in that job and the progress I had made, but an easy decision when it came to meeting the needs of my family being able to provide what was needed especially to protect my wife, the last time I looked at the marriage vows we promised each other they said

to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part'

I didn't solely promise to provide finances alone but to try to help her in every aspect of our life together. If that means I have to be responsible for cleaning the house (Sometimes) and to do the washing (Occasionally) then that’s OK with me. My wife had spent so long doing this for me and so much more.

I already feel like I am turning more lady like as each day passes, I've even started growing my own pair of breasts (I mean man boobs) If this also means we will be a little poorer during this period in our lives so be it, there is more important things in life to worry about. I am not perfect by any means I mess up daily and continually make mistakes, with my children and my wife too, but I feel I'm where I am supposed to be.

I guess I felt a little offended by this viewpoint and wanted to raise this as a topic for discussion I would love to hear your views on this subject in the comments below.

All the best and have a fantastic weekend.