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Can men multi task?

Tuesday, 8 September 2015  | 

A few things you will realise about your husband/partner when you have children.

If my husband, on the off chance, gets our daughter dressed in the morning, I can be assured that he will either A-put her in something from her 'too small' pile or B-create some random ensemble from whatever clothes he sees first. As I wonder what outfit she will come down the stairs in, I silently giggle to myself. Listening to the chaos upstairs of our six year old son running riot with our 16 month old, I go through in my head all the things that are now apparent about my dearest husband since we had children.

-He can't multi-task. Ask your husband to make a meal and look after children at the same time and you will actually see cogs turning. You will find the kitchen upside down, children running riot and in our case, a toddler in the cupboards and emptying out every utensil she can find. It soon becomes obvious that men can only concentrate on one task at a time!

-He has a very sensitive gag reflex. Must of us will of seen the viral video of the Dad changing his baby's nappy nearly vomiting as he's doing it. If my husband suspects DD has had a poo he either pretends he's not noticed or disappears and does something else. If he does have to change her nappy, all I can hear are retches, gags and various cries of 'oh Christ!'.

-He treats holidays like military operations. Going on holiday is now like gathering the troops and a work of military precision. Packing, tickets, passports, early flights, airports, my husband cannot deal with these things. I usually laugh at him as he gets so stressed at the airport. You can literally see the sigh of relief as we step off the plane at the other end. Then again when back home, as a week with children 24/7 usually leaves him grateful to go back to work for some peace!

-He brags that you breastfeed to his friends. Purely because he gets to lie there snoring during the night feeds, whilst his friends are having to get up and do a night feed. But what he didn't realise was all those dirty nappies would be saved for him-cue gag reflex at every nappy change!

-Bath time is a chore. Anything that involves a ritual and more than one task is just not an appealing parental duty. He would much rather sit downstairs and listen to the splashes, squeals, battles to get DD dressed than deal with it himself. Whereas I treasure bathing my beautiful children (sometimes!).

These things aside, you'll find that once your baby is here, he will develop a massive sense of protectiveness. He will also look after you, care for you and have an unconditional love for your children like no other, be it one, two or six! (Even though he might act like they drive him mad). The eagerness to help you out with chores may wear off after a few weeks and you might fantasise about slapping him a few times, but either way, your husband/partner will provide you with endless hours of entertainment- observing how he, unlike you, can't multi task, change a nappy without gagging or put an outfit together that fits.

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