What NOT to say to a new Mum
When you're a new mum, particularly a first time mum, I think it seems to shine a beacon above your head that says 'offer me unsolicited advice'. At first I would nod along in agreement, heck I did that the whole time, but it definitely got very frustrating, very quickly. Things that riled me up the most were advice that may have been relevant 40 years ago or getting advice from people who don't even have children yet. I can honestly say I don't think I ever gave parenting advice before I had children, though now as a Mum I know how easy it is to fall on the opposite side of the fence and be the one offering probably unwanted tips. But hey ho, you can't win them all.
Here are my top 10 things I think you shouldn't ever say to a new mum. -
- Does he sleep well? He is a baby the chances are NO! -
- Whens the next one? I am not a baby machine! - Was it worth it? I mean, does this even require an answer? -
- Well back in my day.... It's not your day, please stop. -
- Did you have an epidural? As if my some means it discredits the trauma you went through if you did. -
- Are you going back to work? I've just birthed a watermelon, please don't make me think of work. -
- Is it a boy or a girl? If you can't work it out don't ask. -
- Doesn't he look like his dad? Yes, perhaps it's true, but god it's annoying. -
- How was the labour? I'm not filling you in on all the gory details, watch one born for that. -
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Ok who is going to clean, eat, wash & cook for me?
They were the most frustrating sentences I would be asked on an almost weekly basis. Don't get me wrong I know they were almost always with the best intentions but they weren't helpful or needed. I much preferred the girls who were going to say 'Let me look after baby for a few hours, you get your head down' or the ones who were coming round bringing a bottle. They were the MUCH more helpful.