The honest guide to sex after pregnancy
Monday, 18 June 2018 | Mummy and Little Me
The Honest Guide To Sex After Pregnancy
Sex? What’s that? Ooh yes.. I remember.. vaguely.
That’s my response. Not that I don’t enjoy sex, I do, but it’s different now we have two children. Everything’s different after two children. It’s different after one!
‘Back in the day’ you might remember getting down to it multiple times a night - on a bad day, it’d be just the once. There was no one to answer to, no child shouted out mid climax; “Mummy! Are you ok in there?” (This hasn’t happened to me, it’s just something I can imagine happening. Honestly).
You could enjoy a bit of Afternoon Delight if you wanted. The only Afternoon Delight I get now is of the food and beverage variety: Afternoon Tea. Il be honest though, a sit down and a cuppa makes me happy these days. The Simple Life.
When you’re trying for a baby, it’s best having sex a few times a week, especially when your ovulating. I had an App on my iPhone - very romantic. I knew exactly when I was due my period, I could monitor how heavy the ‘flow’ would be (nice) and could record any love making. Each attempt would give a percentage of how probable it would be to get pregnant at that time. I think one time my hubby and I had barely finished and I was already updating the app to ascertain how likely it was that we’d just created life. (23% for anyone wondering) He wasn’t impressed. I can’t imagine why...
Trying for a baby is hard, it’s emotional and sex can become a chore. It shouldn’t be like that but it is.
As soon as you become pregnant, sex changes again. From being rampant to worrying whether your partners penis would poke & blind your baby at each try. (FYI - that’s impossible. I googled.)
Once your bundle of joy is finally here, life doesn’t go back to normal. In fact, that old normality has gone. You’re newly blessed now with your baby. And with it comes a minor sacrifice for the foreseeable future. Your bed becomes a place where your boobs are exposed, but not by your partner. You’re feeding. Or, you’re dozing in and out of sleep whilst bottle feeding. Sex is literally the last thing on your mind.
Plus, your baby is sleeping next to you in her Moses basket. You’re not performing a show. Regardless of the fact that she is fast asleep and wouldn’t be aware of what’s going on, it still feels ‘wrong’ somehow.
You’ll be fully aware that your ‘downstairs’ will not be like it was before. If you’ve had surgery or stitches there’s the anxiety that sex is going to be overly painful (remember your first wee after giving birth?!) and that it’ll be like losing your virginity all over again.
It isn’t. It’s pretty much what it was before. You just need to relax into it. Some suggest lube however I can’t even watch 50 Shades without blushing so I can’t imagine applying lube on my punani. (A word I’ve used for my vagina for many a year now. Don’t know why. You’re probably reading this thinking I’m crazy but I’m sure you’ve got your own nicknames for your lady garden.)
If you’re genuinely worried about having sex after having a baby, speak to your partner. Maybe try spend extra time cuddling first and work your way up to (or down to!) it.
After all, we love a nice cuddle don’t we?!