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second child guilt, how is it for you?

Sunday, 1 July 2018  |  Admin

Second Child Birthday Problems

I cannot believe I am writing this, but in less than two weeks we will be celebrating Harlow’s first birthday!

Now, we of course wanted to mark it but perhaps in slightly less extravagant fashion than our eldest where we hired a hall, soft play, had a two tier cake spent hundreds of pounds and he didn’t have a clue what was going on.

So, we have hired a few party play bits from Playdate With My Crew, have booked a photo shoot with a local photographer Shellie Wall to do a cake smash and Greg is wheeling his Father’s Day present of a BBQ back out.

Harlow doesn’t have a lot of little friends, as he tends to play along with Elijah and his friend’s. But we have a few children and their parents coming and plan on having a relaxed afternoon BBQ celebration.

I want to enjoy it, rather than being the one running around like a headless chicken doing everything, taking children to the toilet, serving food, forgetting the pass the parcel and running up a huge bill.

Because after 3 birthday parties I have learnt it just isn’t worth it, they are happy with the smallest of things and it doesn’t have to cost a fortune.

I feel a tad guilty Elijah got so much but truth is, Harlow plays with everything Elijah has already. Everything you would buy for a first birthday we have already got. Which left me with a bit of a dilemma. What do I get him?

I spoke to a few friends who have had two children and  most only got them a couple of bits. (second child problems).

I know Harlow isn’t going to know any different, and won’t even remember it but being the second child he sometimes does get pushed to the sides by his very loud and performing big brother I want him to feel special.

That’s why we are having a photo shoot with just him, and taking him out for a special birthday lunch while Elijah is at nursery and we have chosen a few special presents.

We have had a special photo board book from Photobox made up of the family, some cars, a wooden train with bricks, a Teletubby phone and some books. I didn’t want to buy him presents for the sake of it when I know they won’t get played with as we already have a house full!

Harlow decided to surprise us by walking early, and despite the slightly lacklustre prep efforts we are all looking forward to celebrating in a couple of weeks and no doubt I will still be running around like a headless chicken!

Vicki Cockerill is a NICU/ CHD Mum of two boys, a freelance blogger and social media adviser, Co-Founder of #knackeredandNorwich social club and maternal mental health advocate.