Ordinary is overated (at least some of the time)
Tuesday, 9 January 2018 | Admin
There are days I wish I lived an easy normal life.
Days when Number One walks out of school with a face that tells me that a meltdown is impending.
Days when there have been too many changes, a new routine or a social situation she has misunderstood. Days when I battle with doctors to get help for Number Two. I am far from saintly. Very far. I wish as often as any mum would that my children didn’t have to go through the things they do.
But today was not one of those days. Today was one of those days that make the difficult ones worthwhile. Because today we went to the harvest festival at Number One’s school. Because today she stood confidently on a stage and performed her part. Because today I watched her laugh and chat to friends. Because today she reminded me as she does so often how far she has come. Today was one of those days when I looked at my incredible daughter and wished I had the words to tell her how proud I was of how much she has achieved.
You see Number One is not only beautiful and incredibly kind, she is not only an amazing big sister, but she also has Asperger’s Syndrome. At four years she was physically sick every night before she went to school. I was terrified that she would never make friends, never walk into school with a smile on her face, never cope in a world which didn’t understand her need for structure. Over the years, she has combatted many things, above all she has confronted many of her own fears. But more than anything she has surprised me with just how brave she is. She does not find life easy. But she confronts it anyway. Today was another example of that.
It struck me today though as it so often does, that for the other parents in the room today was just an ordinary day. A nice day, but nothing special, nothing to be particularly celebrated. And that makes me feel lucky. I am lucky because when something is so hard won, it always means that little bit more. I am lucky because my children are fighters, determined in the extreme.
On days like today I know the truth, I know that I wouldn’t swap my life for any other life, because my life with all its imperfections, is perfect just the way it is.
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