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Never underestimate a mother

Thursday, 11 August 2016  |  Admin

Don’t underestimate me, I am a mother.

It is very easy for people to dismiss me, as I work part time that they think I may get an easy ride for the rest of the week. That being a part time worker, and a full time mother is a freaking vacation. Are you kidding me? I do not get a day off. I have a demanding 2-year-old that needs me, and yes it was my choice to have a child and I love being a mother but what I didn’t ask for is having a child with CHD ( Congenital Heart Disease) That perhaps I have had to cope with a lot more than most. That actually yes, there are days I sit on the sofa and watch TV, but hay I have paid my dues don’t you think? I think now people expect so much from mothers, they need to be bringing a wage in, running the house, providing stimulating activities and organic meals, do the majority of the child care and look freaking amazing whilst doing it.

When you look tired, or your child is having a tantrum in the supermarket you are then immediately judged that you don’t have a handle on everything. So why is it after all the feminist revolutions, gender pay gaps slowly closing it is still the mother that is judged so harshly? It so easy to look at a mother and instantly underestimate her. That she looks tired, not put together and maybe she has biscuit on her trousers. But she has likely been up all night, then woken up at the crack of dawn with the expectation of being a children’s entertainer at 6AM. That she has likely done more in 2 hours before then coming to work than most have done in a whole morning. She can perform as well as you on less sleep, (more coffee) with more going on, more distractions, and in the back of her mind one thing still remains her focus. Her child.

A mother is more compassionate, has more empathy and will instantly involve herself emotionally in a situation. Never mistake this as weakness. Emotion is not a weakness it is a strength. I think most will still view women at a lower status to men in the workplace. Why? Because we have emotion? We have periods and we can have children? That we are entitled to have maternity leave? Whoops, sorry for being able to continue the human race. It took me a long time to accept my new role, even after I had Elijah I didn’t feel like a mother. Now, after everything we have been through on his NICU and CHD journey I am proud to admit I am a mother. I have a strength that no one can take away, I have a fierceness that I never had before and will stop at nothing to protect my child.

I may only work part time, I may not do the washing for two weeks and yes, I do have biscuit on my trousers but don’t underestimate me, or any other mother. They are the strongest beings. You cannot get anyone stronger than a mother. When you think of a lioness, she is the one that hunts the food, she is the one that raises the cubs, she is a mother. You wouldn’t think of a lioness as a symbol of weakness so why do we consider this for mothers? Why are mothers still regarded with a lesser status? Why is it if you choose to give up work and become a stay at home mother you are considered as lazy? They probably have the hardest job on this planet. Solely focused on raising and providing the best life they can for their child. So before you look at the mum with a tantruming toddler on the bus and you move away from the noise, why don’t you think hay surely we’ve all been there? You may have been the mother dealing with this or the child who was throwing a wobbler. Before you see a part time worker (avec slightly dirty trousers) and dismiss her as incapable just think how much she juggles to get to work, but there she is probably on no sleep.

Outside impressions are not everything, you cannot see behind closed doors, nor do you know everyone’s story that you happen to meet in the street. A mother is never to be underestimated, Never. She is the lioness, she is strength, she is the provider, she is the nurturer, the nurse, the story teller, the children’s entertainer and so much more. But let’s just remember she is also a person, and a human and don’t we all have bad days sometimes? That’s not to say she doesn’t have a handle on it. It is more than likely she has about 10 handles to the 10 saucepans she is watching and juggling at the same time. This post is dedicated to all of the amazing lionesses out there, whether you have biscuit in your trousers or not. Never let anyone make you feel like you are any less of the amazing person you are. It is there mistake and will be their downfall to underestimate a mother.