Lets be honest Mothers
What Would I Give to A New Mum?
Recently to mark #MMHAW18 Amy Ransom author of The New Mum's Notebook launched a campaign to ask if knowing what you know now what would you give a new mum?
Easy. I would give her honesty.
To be honest with herself, with others about how she is really feeling.
We shy away, we feel ashamed and worried we will be judged when we dare mention that we are struggling. That we are counting down the hours until bedtime and that we aren't enjoying it 24 hours a day.
For 18 months I held in how I really felt and then began to honestly confess what I was going through, how I was feeling via my blog.
Sharing so honestly has been terrifying and freeing in equal measure. But in my gut as long as I could help comfort, encourage, support or help 1 single mother (or father) then it has been worth it.
I know we all feel like this but still we keep quiet.
Recently in a car me and a mum friend had a conversation in the car about how nearly 4 years down the line and 4 kids between us why people are not honest, really honest with themselves and others about motherhood. This should be going back to ante natal classes!
I wished someone had pre-warned me about how hard two kids really is, I hoped someone had sat with me whilst we sat in NICU and say it's okay to feel angry, resentful and bitter.
We need to learn to be honest as mothers, and as parents to one another. To know someone is actually going through and feeling the same as you makes you suddenly realise you’re not a bad mother, you’re not alone and guess what.... we are all feeling like this.
So, to the new mum be honest. Be kind to yourself and share. It doesn't have to be via a blog for the world to see but to a friend, a partner your mum. It will be okay, and you will be surprised how good you feel once the bubbling emotions inside are finally released.
Also to the new mum 3 years ago who sat crumbling in a hospital side room visiting her child in NICU with overwhelming guilt for how she was feeling, be honest. You’re not alone, you’re a great mum and it is normal to feel how you do right now.
Be honest Mamas and papas we are all in it together
Vicki Cockerill is a NICU/ CHD Mum of two boys, a freelance blogger and social media adviser, Co-Founder of #knackeredandNorwich social club and maternal mental health advocate.