Is your child the rough one?
When your kid is the rough one
Ever since Lincoln was crawling, he’s been spirited shall we say. He’d crawl over anything or anyone in his path. Once he was walking he became like a bull in a china shop, literally running through anything in his way.
In general, he’s boisterous, loud and full of energy and what most would refer to as a typical boy but my goodness as he’s gotten older the judging looks from other parents are horrendous. You can tell they think we have no control over him sometimes.
I feel like I spend my life shouting ‘Lincoln be careful, Lincoln watch out, Lincoln share nicely’. Not necessarily because he’s done anything wrong but to prevent any issues arising. You see I’m not one of those parents who can’t see their child’s minor flaws. I know he’s crazy but all I can do as a parent is guide his behaviour. I can praise the good, tell him off for the bad and naughty step the horrendous but I can’t change his personality.
He’s confident and sociable but he doesn’t put up with snatching. You snatch a toy from him, he’s taking it back, most likely with force. If you’re taking too long to go down the slide, then he may just climb over the top of you. We’re working on it. He’s improving, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.
As he’s getting older I’m getting far more aware of people’s judgement of his behaviour. We watch him closely at anything like soft play. We’ve seen him walk away from being hit, only for that kid to follow him and continue the attack, once Lincoln’s had enough he strikes back and boom the kid cries and mine is at fault. Of course, you feel terrible as a parent and looking at me in judgement while I discipline him isn’t really helping the situation. Then there are the parents who like to join in while you’re telling yours off like I can’t do it by myself.
Sometimes I wish he was a sensitive kid who cried the first time he was pushed or hit. I wish he wouldn’t walk away from conflict to start with because he ends up in trouble.
One think I haven’t been prepared for was the school gate dread when he started nursery.
In general he settled in well, no tears at drop offs and happy to go but I dread collection. Standing in a queue of parents waiting to be told how his day had been. Lincoln’s pushed someone today, Lincoln’s hit someone today, Lincoln’s done this and that. Of course, not every day is like that. There are lots of good days but just when I let my guard down there has been another issue. They never see the build-up, so Lincoln always gets into trouble.
One thing we have all noticed is that he doesn’t tell anyone when he gets hurt or hurts himself. He’s come home with several injuries that look like bites and scratches, but he’s never mentioned them to the teacher.
In fact, the teacher witnessed him have a nasty fall and refused to cry and got upset when the teacher said she’d let me know. Its almost like he thinks he will be in trouble. The mum guilt got me on this one. Have we been to over the top with telling him off? I always offer a cuddle when he’s hurt but quiet often follow with the classic ‘I said you’d hurt yourself doing that’. The school are being supportive and finding ways to encourage him to communicate with them, but it’s been upsetting for all of us.
So, the point in this blog, well when you’re judging a mum of a boisterous child just know they’re doing everything to raise a decent human being, just know they are dying inside every time things go a bit wrong and maybe give them some words of support when they are getting their child to apologise.
For those fellow wild child mamas, you’re doing a great job and I’m told spirited children make future world leaders, so it will all work out perfectly in the end I’m sure.