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Big family or little family

Monday, 26 March 2018  |  Admin


Big family or little family


‘Gosh haven’t you got your hands full?!’


‘Don’t you own a tv?!’


‘Don’t know how you do it, one’s enough for me.’


‘Aren’t you going to try for one more?!’


What is it about the size of ones family that gets everyone questioning your decisions? Sometimes maybe they do it without thinking, or maybe they are genuinely interested, but when you are questioned what it seems like constantly on the size of your family be it big or small, it soon gets old. I mean, it’s no different to the old dears in the supermarket thinking it’s their given right to cluck at your newborn or touching your baby bump. Sometimes you just plain don’t want to be touched or questioned.


Don’t get me wrong, I’m friendly, I smile and nod, whilst my anxiety goes into over ride. Why do I care what a complete stranger thinks? Why is it acceptable for them to judge me and my brood? Have they washed their hands? Will he catch a stomach bug that will then wipe us all out?


The thoughts behind the smile eh?!


I am a mum of four; 9, 6, 3 and 8 weeks and I wouldn’t change a thing. I was a young mum, but then is there a right age to have a baby? We then struggled for number 2, but along he came when he decided, not planned but not prevented. Number 3 and 4 were the result of medication. So none planned but all equally loved and I wouldn’t change the size of my family, wouldn’t want to grow any bigger though. I admire those with larger families than mine, I mean the washing of 6 is enough to never reach the end of the laundry basket 


I have friends who might have no children or only one who fought hard to get that child and they get asked, ‘so when’s the next one coming along?’ Or ‘isn’t it time to have a baby?’ Sometimes this might slip out without thinking as it’s such a common thing to ask but actually it really hurts some people.


I feel incredibly lucky to be part of a big family, I just wish society wasn’t so judgemental 

There are arguments and some days where I want to change my name, but no one is ever lonely, there will be a playmate for everyone, and someone to have as a partner in crime. It is different now, having just welcomed #4 into the world, bringing him home we have had a completely different welcome to #1 where we batted visitors away. This time we have had him almost to ourselves, and you know what both welcomes are fine; all I need to be happy with him are under one roof. Hubby has a saying (and a thicker skin) and says anyone is welcome into our circle and we would love you here but all he needs to be happy is under this roof; and if you don’t like the way we are then he’s happy for them to do one. And you know what I am coming round to his way of thinking. I’ll open you with open arms, but take us as you find us, which might be in our pjs dancing round the living room, especially if it’s a Sunday.


When someone stops by the table in a restaurant and compliments my little family on their behaviour that is what makes me beam. They aren’t perfect but at these times I couldn’t be prouder.  I need to remember this when I hold my baited breath for a comment on the family size, that some passers by are just being nice.


#mummyof4 #bigfamily #wouldntchangeathing