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10 post baby details that may shock you

Monday, 9 October 2017  | 

Like many things, those glossy parenting books and blogs tend to omit a few details when it comes to what to expect after you have had a baby. Those omissions will then come as a bit of a shock and you will think WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS?? So below is my list of things that are ‘forgotten’ when it comes to those first hours/ days after having a baby.

  1. You will never feel more grateful for a shower but be warned it will resemble a Friday 13th film. If giving birth in hospital it is always a bit of a feat in shuffling to the ward shower with your hospital towels but I guarantee you will come out feeling like you are Naomi Campbell.
  2. Be prepared to get ‘em out. After giving birth, it does not seem such a big deal to sit on a hospital ward with your boobs hanging out and readying them for feeding, but it is still a surreal thing to sit there amongst women you do not know like cows in a milking shed.
  3. Your knickers will be able to accommodate a whole family of four but how else are you going to stack those jumbo pads in?
  4. Two words… stool softener.
  5. You have a new walk called the John Wayne.
  6. Nothing says glamour like peeing in a jug, measuring it and gleefully telling the midwife that you have done the required amount to go home!
  7. Everything leaks, and I mean everything. Just put some sort of pad on anything that feels moist.
  8. Other than giving birth itself, there is something that we all fear. The post partem poo, I asked Greg to come with me and hold my hand! When he wouldn’t I settled for the breathing techniques from hypnobirthing! My advice (see point 4).
  9. Yes, you will still look pregnant, and your nipples are now the size of digestives.
  10. Nothing feels better than being able to sleep on your back again!

Giving birth and the days that follow will probably be the least attractive you have ever felt. You will have so many pads stuck to various parts of you, that you rustle when you walk.  But when you look down at the wriggling bundle and it is all suddenly worth it. Not forgotten, but worth it.

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