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The devil is in the detail

Tuesday, 12 July 2016  | 

The Devil is In The Detail

Saturday started off with a sense of tranquillity. We had planned a day in. The new story building Lego was out and it was a chance to play. The Special Interest; currently all things ‘Harry Potter’ came into play. Given freedom, in my house all routes usually lead there. It was decided the world of Harry would be recreated…

Silence reigned. All was peaceful. Until… Meltdown. The only long Lego hair available was ‘girl hair’ and there was no way Hagrid could have girl hair. That would be unforgivable!

Both at home and at school, it is those tiny details, the things I haven’t thought of that derail things. The things that I haven’t given a thought to, because in my head they aren’t important are often the very things that to my students and my daughter are critically important to the success of whatever it is that we are doing. It’s why the days that I expect to be challenging often aren’t (because I’ve covered, double covered and triple covered all of my bases) whereas those I think will go swimmingly often end in disaster.

Unless I become psychic (and therefore can pre-empt these disasters before they happen), there has to be another plan (because these events are and will continue to be a part of my daily existence). On Saturday we were saved by a book delivery through the post. Just as quickly as the disaster began, it ended. And this is so often the case.

Had I tackled the problem head on, and said of course Hagrid could have had girl hair, I would have exacerbated things further. Because whilst in my head that is the obvious solution, it is a battle I can’t win, I can’t win it because I simply don’t understand why it is so important in the eyes of my daughter. Distraction therefore, as is so often the case is my best course of action. It is my excuse for why I am so good at talking ‘random rubbish.’

In fact, I would go so far as to argue, that the art of distraction, the ability to intersect a conversation and take it in a random direction until the moment of potential crisis has passed, is one of the most crucial skills needed when parenting a child with high anxiety levels.

Once the moment has passed, the anxiety has dissipated; the original activity can more often than not be returned to and enjoyed. In the dining room here, mission build Harry’s world once again resumed (I didn’t enquire as to the solution of Hagrid’s hair though I may risk a sneaky look in a couple of days one the drama is forgotten).

So next time something seems irrational to you, let it go, talk about something else for a few minutes. You might just be surprised at the results…